IF A GIRL ISN'T PRETTY

If a girl isn't pretty, like a Miss Atlantic City
All she gets in life is pity, and a pat
Is a nose with deviation, such a crime against the nation
Should I throw her into jail or drown the cat
She must shine in every detail, like some ring you're buying retail
Be a standard size that fits a standard dress
When a girl's incidentals are no bigger than two lentils
Well to me that doesn't spell success

If a girl isn't pretty, like a Miss Atlantic City
She should dump the stage and try another route
Any guy who pays a quarter for a seat
Just feels he outta see a figure that his wife can't substitute
Frumpy faces that could cause ya to have temporary nausea
Do I have to hear a lecture such as that?
Kindly name a star who hasn't won a contest or a pageant
If she hasn't, she just never gets to bat

If a girl isn't pretty
If a girl isn't pretty
She should get a job
Get a weekly pay
'Cause if a girl isn't pretty, like a Miss Atlantic City
She's a real Miss Nobody USA

Thank you
Thank you
You all don't know really what that song is about, you're all
I'm sure you're all very good looking out there