SELFIE

When Jason was at the table
I kept on seeing him look at me while he was with that other girl
Do you think he was just doing that to make me jealous?
Because he was totally texting me all night last night
And I don't know if it's a booty call or not
So... like what do you think?
Did you think that girl was pretty?
How did that girl even get in here?
Do you see her?
She's so short and that dress is so tacky
Who wears Cheetah?
It's not even summer, why does the DJ keep on playing "Summertime Sadness"?
After we go to the bathroom, can we go smoke a cigarette?
I really need one
But first,
Let me take a selfie

[Beat drops]

Can you guys help me pick a filter?
I don't know if I should go with XX Pro or Valencia
I wanna look tan
What should my caption be?
I want it to be clever
How about "Livin' with my bitches, hash tag LIVE"
I only got 10 likes in the last 5 minutes
Do you think I should take it down?
Let me take another selfie

[Beat drops]

Wait, pause, Jason just liked my selfie
What a creep
Is that guy sleeping over there?
Yeah, the one next to the girl with no shoes on
That's so ratchet
That girl is such a fake model
She definitely bought all her Instagram followers
Who goes out on Mondays?
OK, let's go take some shots
Oh no, ugh I feel like I'm gonna throw up
Oh wait, nevermind I'm fine
Let's go dance
There's no vodka at this table
Do you know anyone else here?
Oh my God, Jason just texted me
Should I go home with him?
I guess I took a good selfie

Selfie [x8]

Let me take a selfie